The Return to Hell’s Social Club

So I’m beaten by the life of the city…As much as I hated living in the country during the summers of my adolescence and during the last three years of high school; I now long for the quiet serenity that atmosphere once offered. I miss the chirping of crickets , the ribbiting croaks of frogs and things to that degree. I miss the loud silence that the simplistic life of country living provided.

In reflection, I have realized that it was during these moments of my teenage years that I feel in love with reading and then eventually writing. Coming from a metropolitan upbringing with all of the supposed luxuries of teenage life,( i.e, cable television, shopping malls, and public transit) and then being thrust into a world where you get at best three television channels, no malls for 70 miles and where roads (many of them unpaved) lead to no where, you (slowly) find means and measures to entertain yourself. Reading became the only way that I could escape the world that I was growing to loathe, while writing became my method of making the life I was living that much more bearable. I used to read and write constantly. This was before I had the convenience of a laptop and a smart phone. I used to capture all of my thoughts in countless notebooks, journals and scrap pieces of paper in hopes of one day bringing them all together to tell the stories, fables and tales of my thoughts. But life changes. I left the country and returned to the city of my youth. Whereas I once felt forced and compelled to write, these days, I do it just to assure myself that I haven’t lost the talents that I once prided and praised myself of actually possessing. I write now because I can, not necessarily because I have to and it sickens me, for there isn’t much cause or inspiration to do so. Everything that I write about is of my own creation. I no longer have anything to escape to or escape from. There' is no drama. There is no conflict. I am poised as a prisoner of my own reality. I have made my life so posh and so grand as opposed to how I was 15 to 18 years ago that I now desire to return to a much simpler time.

I never thought that I would ever say this but for the sake of creativity and my writing, I need to get the f*ck out of dodge. As in leave right now.

or maybe I’m just escaping everything that I thought I once (thought I ) loved.

I'm shakin' the dust of this crummy little town off my feet and I'm gonna see the world. (C) George Bailey "It's A Wonderful Life"

~fin