It wasnt so much of what was being said no more than it was that the blame of the day's disarray seemed to fall on me. I always feel as though I'm playing the waiting game---waiting for someone who's just stringing me along. *this emotional string will one day become the rope by which my demise is dependent up on*
Recently, Everything seems to always be my fault and I find myself apologizing for things that I normally wouldn't even give thought to much less apologize for. But I can't express sorrow for anything that happened yesterday because I simply wasn't in the know. I was waiting on you to confirm our plans and you left your answer up to assumption. I don't operate on a " oh it's Valentines day, I hope she wants me to come over" type thing. Matter of fact, I doubt any self respecting man does.
Truth of the matter is that I feel the same way about you in anger as I did when I first met you. As much as it appears as though I'm some calloused player with impenetrable emotions, the fact remains that my heart doesn't waver. I have no emotional on and off switch. I can't love you today and hate you tomorrow... In regards to you, it's just not in my nature. After last nights events, I wanted to forget you and the past 10 months but I cant...I'm mad at you but for some strange feeling I know that the moment you call or text, I'll let it all slide...I wish I knew why I was so forgiving of you but I don't. It's like I know I'm being played for a fool and yet I continue to allow it to (knowingly) happen.
I didn't walk out because I wanted to leave, I left because I couldn't stand around and watch the last remaining morsel of self respect and humorous pride be snatched from underneath me under the disguise of you having a " bad day".
But Heav, I get it.. We all have bad days but damn will you always lash out on the one motherfucker that attempting to make it better? ...
I may not be your one but I guess we're done.
Recently, Everything seems to always be my fault and I find myself apologizing for things that I normally wouldn't even give thought to much less apologize for. But I can't express sorrow for anything that happened yesterday because I simply wasn't in the know. I was waiting on you to confirm our plans and you left your answer up to assumption. I don't operate on a " oh it's Valentines day, I hope she wants me to come over" type thing. Matter of fact, I doubt any self respecting man does.
Truth of the matter is that I feel the same way about you in anger as I did when I first met you. As much as it appears as though I'm some calloused player with impenetrable emotions, the fact remains that my heart doesn't waver. I have no emotional on and off switch. I can't love you today and hate you tomorrow... In regards to you, it's just not in my nature. After last nights events, I wanted to forget you and the past 10 months but I cant...I'm mad at you but for some strange feeling I know that the moment you call or text, I'll let it all slide...I wish I knew why I was so forgiving of you but I don't. It's like I know I'm being played for a fool and yet I continue to allow it to (knowingly) happen.
I didn't walk out because I wanted to leave, I left because I couldn't stand around and watch the last remaining morsel of self respect and humorous pride be snatched from underneath me under the disguise of you having a " bad day".
But Heav, I get it.. We all have bad days but damn will you always lash out on the one motherfucker that attempting to make it better? ...
I may not be your one but I guess we're done.
Sincerely,
Me
~fin
~fin
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